Please keep in mind throughout reading this post that it is totally made up, and none of it is true.. other than the fact that we're friends~ Our story begins as Jeff is just getting his first band together, known as the "Blue Man Group"~ Let's have a look, shall we?~
Formation of the "Blue Man Group"~
Our story begins in 1991~ Needing something to fill his time after his high school days were past him, and having recently been involved in a career ending NASCAR crash, Glover and a few of his college buddies formed a "performance art company"~ They dubbed their new ensemble the "Blue Man Group", due to their fascination with painting themselves blue from head to toe~
The newly formed performing group played venues throughout the country, getting more and more recognition.. and by 1999, they finally recorded their first audio recording, titled "Audio"~ By 2002, Glover was starting to hang out with fellow musician Moby, who was trying to convince Jeff into splitting from the group to become an even bigger success~
Jeff briefly left the group in 2004, performing solo shows at liberal arts clubs with Moby~ On the night of Saturday, March 13th 2004, Glover found out through in informant that Moby had been stealing merchandise and performance money from him~ Not only that, but he had also stolen Jeff's prized possession, one of the only surviving cans of Hi-C Peach~ Jeff had purchased the fully intact can on Ebay, as Hi-C had stopped making "Peach" long ago, and kept it as a shrine to his beverage of choice~
He quickly went to go find Moby, and seek his vengeance... as well as get the Hi-C Peach back~ He stomped across the dance floor, gazing across the room like a hungry lion, in search of Moby~ He finally spotted him over by the snow cone concession, with the Hi-C Peach firmly in hand~ Glover rushed over to grab the can, but it was empty~ Moby had got the snow cone guy to mix it into his snow cone~ Moby looked over at Glover, and finished the snow cone~ He didn't know it yet, but he had just created a monster~
2004-2005 The clown era~
Seeing Moby drink his precious, and only Hi-C Peach threw Jeff into a frenzy~ He picked up a corn dog stick that he found lying on the ground, and stabbed it into Moby's eye~ He beat Moby dang near to death, and scurried out the back door, and into a van, driven by Mr. T~ Once in the van, Mr. T drover Glover to his secret hideout, to evade the police~
Glover and Mr. T quickly bonded, and Jeff.. who had once been obsessed with painting himself blue, started wearing clown makeup, and clown clothes~ Mr. T joined in, and the duo started talking about wanting to become serial killers~ As Mr. T ate his Mr. T cereal, they hatched a plan to begin their evil ways~ Mr. T find people out late at night, and offer them a ride to his house to play Mike Tyson's Punchout on Nintendo~ No one could possibly turn down playing Mike Tyson's Punchout with Mr. T~ So off Mr. T goes, in the A-Team van, looking for a victim~
While Mr. T was away, Jeff started watching re-runs of Matlock, and drinking wine coolers~ After a couple episodes, and several wine coolers.. he realized from watching Matlock bust the bad guys that what he was doing was wrong~ He didn't want to be a serial killer at all.. he just wanted his Hi-C Peach~ About this time, Mr. T came running in, with Macaulay Culkin, who looked like a wet, nervous hamster~
The stars align~ But will they prevail?~
Mr. T (who was standing there in his clown get-up) screams "Alright, let's kill this sucka, I pity dis foo... it's time to get our serial killin' on"~ Glover then explained how he had a vision while watching a Matlock marathon, and that they shouldn't kill people... they should play Mike Tyson's Punchout, and eat Dorito's~ And in the morning, they should all call Coca-Cola and force them through their combined celebrity power to bring back Hi-C Peach~
After none of them could get past King Hippo, they gave up and ate Hot Pockets, chasing them down with wine coolers~ When they woke up the next day, they immediately called the Coca-Cola Company in Atlanta Georgia~ They demanded that the company bring back their beloved drink, so they can once again be at peace with humanity~
Coca-Cola agreed, but under one stipulation, the trio had to agree to make a new "Home Alone" movie, entitled "Home Alone 4: Trapped In Mr. T's Closet"~ The group agreed, and on April 17th 2005, Coca-Cola relaunched Hi-C Peach nationwide~ Although it was only a six week release, Jeff and the gang had finally achieved their goal in bringing Hi-C Peach back to the masses~
Their movie, "Home Alone 4: Trapped In Mr. T's Closet", was a major success, reviving the careers of Mr. T and Culkin~ Mr. T invested all of his money into the Iraqi Dinar, and lost everything he owned~ Culkin teamed up with former rapper "Vanilla Ice" on a new hit television show entitled "Home Improvents... Alone", where they demonstrated various home improvement and renovation techniques~ Jeff Glover spent most of his earnings buying a Cup series team, and hiring driver Derrike Cope to field his cars~ Derrike won 9 races in 2015, on his way to winning the 2015 Cup series championship~
Jeff's racing career~ 1989-1991~
One day in the summer of 1988, Jeff bought a lottery ticket at the 7-11 on his way home~ As it turns out, he won $250,000, and instantly knew what he wanted to do with the money~ He bought his own race team, and picked up sponsorship from his favorite drink, Hi-C Peach~ He chose the number 96, and drove a Ford, just like his hero, Bill Elliott~
In his 1989 rookie season, Jeff won 3 races (Rockingham, Pocono, and Bristol), while finishing 9th in the final points standings~ He also won Rookie of the Year honors~ In his sophomore year, Glover stunned the NASCAR world when he beat out Bill Elliott for the 1990 Winston Cup Series Championship~
He won 8 races (Daytona 500, Coca-Cola 600, Southern 500, both Bristol races, the Budweiser at the Glen, the DieHard 500 @ Talladega, and the Goody's 500 @ Martinville), 4 poles (both Daytona races, and both Bristol races) had 19 top 5's, and 25 top 10's~ At the awards banquet, Glover vowed to repeat his championship season~
The 1991 season started out great for Glover~ He won the Daytona 500 for the second year in a row, and won again three races later, in the Motorcraft Quality Parts 500 @ Atlanta~ He won again four races later, in the Hanes 500 @ Martinville~ Sadly, this would be his final career victory~
On the 47th lap of the Winston 500 @ Talladega, Glover was caught up in a horrendous crash involving 17 cars~ He was attempting to pass Ernie Irvan for the lead, when Irvan swerved over to block the move~ Irvan's car clipped the right rear of Jeff's, sending him violently into the wall at a 90 degree angle~ The crash left Glover with a broken neck, 4 broken ribs, a broken leg, and a broken arm~ Although he was able to recover, he was never able to race again~ But at least he survived, and still had a cool life, and owns a Cup team~ The end~ Cheers to you, Jeff!~ :)
Jeff Glover #96 Hi-C Peach Ford~
Now that the story has been told, let's take a gander at this car~ Obviously, it's a Photoshop custom (poorly done.. I only had 1 photo to go with), and I messed up real bad on the car in the first picture, but oh well.. the bottom one looks good~ I don't remember Hi-C Peach, but it sure does sound good... and I think now that we finally got our Crystal Pepsi, and our Hi-C Ecto-Cooler back, we should all try and bring back Hi-C Peach~ All it takes is enough people grumbling around to get it done~ :)
I like the colors of the car, although I was trying to make the numbers look more "peach" colored~ I chose a Ford because Jeff likes Bill Elliott, so he would have probably wanted to drive a Ford~ The card looks pretty awesome, and is probably one of the coolest Racing Champions custom cards that I've made~
As far as a grade, I'd have to give this car a B+~ I did mess up some on it, but overall it's a cool looking car, with a great card, and I also liked the little story I came up with to go along with it~ I hope none of you are Moby fans... and if you are, don't worry.. he survived~ :P Thank you all for stopping by the blog again!~ Below are some clips of Bill Elliott, along with some random stuff~ I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope to see you again real soon~ Also, please sign this petition to bring back Hi-C Peach~
In Their Own Words - Bill Elliott~
Elliott wins from 2 laps down~ Talladega - 1985~
Classic Hi-C commercial - 1986~
Mr. T sings about his Mother~
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